truelyesoteric (truelyesoteric) wrote,


I fucked up and accidently erased all preivousness. So here is this again.

Title: It Is(1 of 5)
Author: truelyesoteric
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jared/Jensen is gonna happen over and over , but I’m not going to lie there is some Jared/Sandy and mention of Jensen/OFCs and mention of Tom/Mike and I think Chad has a girlfriend somewhere. Chris is single though if you’re looking…
Warnings: (overall) lots of boys doing each other, cheating, random phone calls, drinking, vague mention of drugs, mention of karaoke, and a character death
Spoilers: Vague mentions of everything up to season three and an imaginary season four
Disclaimer: If I owned them they would be doing this. They’re people so I really shouldn’t be writing about them, but I did oops.
Word Count: This Part 7000+
Summary: First it’s just fun and nothing real. Then nothing has ever been more real and hurts more than anything. And when the dust settles you realize you are somewhere you didn't think you wanted to be. But it is exactly where you want to be..
A/N: kitiaria Beta-ed for me. She liked it, which makes me happy. Even better she got totally emotionally involved and was awesome. I wrote about Jensen’s freckles and Jared’s obsession with Jensen’s lips just for her. So you can thank her for the makeup trailer part. I did some adding so mistakes are all mine, the commas are all hers. I have no idea what to do with those things.
A/N: I’m not entirely sure of definitions, but here is what I think: This isn’t a future fic, but it starts out in the future. This isn’t a kid fic but somebody has a kid. You are warned but just so you know, if you try it you will probably like it.

Alexandra Padalecki walked around her childhood home.

There was another house in California that had also been lived in for part of the twenty-four years of her life, but she always thought of Texas as home. She felt that she was a Texas girl at heart. She felt comfortable as she wandered through the rough wood house with the comfortable couches and the worn in feeling. The house in California was bright and airy; this house was broken in and seemed more real. This was home

In California she was the daughter of celebrity, so she tried to stay as quiet as possible. There were always eyes watching her. But here she was simply herself and she felt free.

Walking up the wooden stairs she remembered her childhood. She remembered birthdays, holidays, and just family time that happened here, just the simple celebration of life. She had grown up happy and loved.

Her bedroom was unchanged from what it had been all those years ago, except there was a white wedding dress on the back of the closet door. Looking at the dress, she smiled. She was a Texas girl, but had grown up around the world on movie sets and back lots of studios, being bounced on the knees of some of Hollywood elite, so it was only natural that she would find someone in the business. Her father had sworn that if she ever had touched an actor he would promptly kill them.

But he had never said anything about up and coming directors.

And tomorrow she would marry her up and coming director.

He was scheduled to direct four films in the next three years and he would be on two continents. It didn’t faze her. She had lived out of a suitcase in temporary apartments for years at a time. Her life was far from ordinary and it suited her, it was how she had grown up. She was where her home was. Her family was always just a phone call away.

On the bed was a white envelope.

During the course of her life there had been many of these envelopes, first day of school, first date, first kiss, before sex, after sex, birthdays and on random days when things were hard. Milestones were always celebrated with a voice from the past she had never heard.

It was the only voice that she had of her mother. She had no memory of the woman that her mother was; she was simply a picture on the wall, a handful of stories, and a few white envelopes. She looked just like her father, tall, eyes that squinted when she laughed and a smile that was a mile long.

But this envelope held the only mother she had ever known and on days like today these envelopes were her comfort.

Sometimes her mother was funny, sometimes she was sad that she had to leave before she had even met Allie, but she was always honest and always real. She was as much of her family as the real live members outside with the dogs.

The envelope said ‘wedding’ in her mother’s clear script.

Her father had given it to her and given her space. She treasured these moments, the moments when she could imagine that her mother had actually existed. It was never more real than in her mother’s own handwriting.

Opening the letter she read what had been written twenty-four years ago.

My Dear Allie,

I hope that you are excited and thrilled because tomorrow you’re getting married. It’s quite a day. I was so nervous on my wedding night and I had been living with him for five years. I just wanted to be alone on my wedding night, to think about the future and to think about the past.

I thought I would never be alone again, and I wasn’t. Even now that there is silence, but you’re here inside of me. You’re moving right now, you always move. Even as I lay here there is a monitor beeping my heartbeat and yours. They beat in time and I know that your heart will continue even if mine doesn’t.

It’s now when the melancholy sinks in, the fact that I’ll never be more than a scream queen and Jared Padalecki’s wife. I don’t regret anything, but I think a lot about what could have been and what will be after I’m gone.

I’ve been thinking about love. It’s about the time in your life when you will find out how happy and painful this can be. Always follow your heart. Never deny it.

I believe in love. I believe that my life has been wonderful because of the people who love me, but it is never how I think it should be.

Your father always loves me. That I know.

But sometimes that isn’t the whole story.

Keep an open mind and listen because there are truths outside of convention. I hope your father has raised you right because you need to be able to realize that love never is just normal.

Your father loves me dearly.

But I learned love from another source.

I learned what love is from watching your father with Jen.

Jen is beautiful and smart and talented and a good person and as much as I want to hate Jen I can’t. Jen is part of your father’s life, they’re like a packaged deal. I don’t even know if your father knows how much Jen is to him.

I know I’m his girl. I’m his date and his partner and his friend.

Jen is simply the sun in his world.

He never looks directly at the sun or notices too much if it goes behind a cloud. He just has faith that the sun in there, warming up his world, even if it goes away for the night.

I wonder if he doesn’t look up because he would see exactly what I see.

He loves Jen.

No, that isn’t right. Jen has become everything he knows about love in this world.

I feel as if I’m just the moon, being warmed by the reflection of the sun.

Jen is so closed off that it took me awhile to realize that the bond that these two share is boundless. It simply is everything.

Baby, he loves me, but he wouldn’t be the same without Jen.

I wonder as I’m writing this if you will know Jen, if your father will be the shell of the man he was because Jen has left him, probably because your father didn’t get his head out of his ass and some other woman came along who didn’t understand.

I hope. Well, I almost don’t even dare to hope because I’m jealous and I want the best and these two things don’t co-exist.

I hope when you read this that you know Jen. I hope Jen is still lighting your father’s world.

That is love baby, the boundless love that is and can’t be denied. I hope you find this. I hope you find love that is imaginable that makes you want to be a better person. Love is everything and it is unexpected and tests who you think you are.

I know love.

Your father’s love for Jen. Your father’s love for me.

And as I lie here, seven years of all of this I know that love exists. I know that love isn’t anything you are going to read in a novel. Love is painful and hard and just about the only thing that means anything.

Never deny love, not matter how unconventional the situation.

I wish you happiness, I wish you love. I wish you everything in the world. I carried you and I loved you. Never settle. Love with all your heart or don’t do it at all.

Cause in the end that is all you can do.


Allie sat down on her bed. She sat down hard, her head spinning and thinking. This wasn’t what she expected. “Jen”, her mother had been so careful, had never named her father’s sin.

But the implication was there and she just knew.

She heard footsteps and the scatter of the dog’s nails on the hardwood floor.

“Daddy,” she said in a voice that sounded remarkably small.

She heard the laughter and wondered if they heard her. She heard footfalls come down the hallway and fear gripped her, but they had always taught her to speak her mind. She was almost scared to bring it up. She didn’t have to, but somewhere she knew. She wanted to know this.

“Did you have a specific one in mind?”

They stood in her doorway. They were a tall family over all, they were commanding.

Her father’s filled the doorway, they always seemed larger than life.

Allie knew that even at mid fifties they were considered some of the sexiest men alive. They had lines around their eyes that hadn’t been there in the DVDs of their CW days, but they were fit and the years had been kind.

Allie held up the letter and with an odd smile they came in and looked down at the paper. Allie never shared her letters, they were something all hers and only hers.

Jensen took the letter and Jared read over his shoulder.

Their smiles disappeared as they read the letter. Jared’s smile faded. Jensen ran a hand through his peppered hair.

“She knew,” Jared said his eyes looking for all the world like a little lost boy. He sat down next to his daughter.

“Damn it Sandy,” Jensen said turning away, not sounding surprised at all.

Jared looked up at him gaping, “You knew she knew.”

Jensen didn’t turn around. Jared stood up and turned Jensen around.

“You knew that she knew.”

Jensen nodded and Jared looked at him incredulously, “When did you find out?”

“In the hospital.”

Jared’s jaw dropped.

“She told me,” Jensen said, not looking up, “She said not to tell you that she knew. She didn’t want you to live the rest of your life feeling guilty.”

“And you never said anything,” Jared said digging his fingers into Jensen’s arm in an attempt to make Jensen look him in the eye.

Jensen looked up, “She made me promise. I would have told you, but it never came up. It didn’t seem important after awhile”

“Jesus Jen,” Jared said unclenching his hand from Jensen’s arm, “You don’t think that maybe over the last twenty four years you could have said something.”

“Like what?” Jensen pushed.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jared muttered, “Hey Jared, remember that time in the hospital when I hung out with Sandy. Well I had long conversations with your wife about how we’d both screwed you.”

Jensen crossed his arms, “Yeah that would have been fun.”

They faced off and Allie watched them. Secrets were rare between the family members. They usually just were what they were and didn’t make explanations.

But sometimes things needed to be explained.

“How long,” she asked low enough to be a scream.

They looked down at their girl on the bed; her quiet question broke them out of their argument.

Neither one of them looked at each other. They looked at her, shame marking their faces.

She stood up, standing mere inches shy of Jensen’s height. Allie looked at them feeling indigent for the mother she had never known instead of the two people who had raised her and loved her for her entire life.

“Its obvious that this thing,” she said waving her hand between the two of them as if they were teenagers instead of a long term couple, “Has been going on longer than I’ve been alive. If mom knew…”

She studied them gathering her calm…

“How long?”

“Almost since the beginning,” Jared said, wanting to go towards her but afraid that she would pull away.

She quickly calculated.

“Thirty years?” she asked.

“Give or take, off and on,” Jared said quietly.

She looked at them and shook her head. She had lived with them and was one of the few people in the world who saw them at their rare mushy romantic moments. They weren’t the kind of guys to hold hands and make out in public, but at home they were always touching. She couldn’t imagine a time when they weren’t together.

Their past was something that they didn’t talk about. Their past was something that she had never really thought to ask about. They were her parents. It wasn’t easy for them all of the time, but that was how it was.

She was getting married tomorrow and they were her role models and it suddenly made her curious, all the questions that she had never asked, she suddenly wanted to.

She bit her lip, “Will you tell me how you got together?”

“Allie,” Jared told her, “I’m sure that you have something better to do on the day before your wedding.

She smiled his smile, “I want to hear about you guys. Was Mom just a gay thing? A beard? How did this happen, how did this work.”

Jared looked at his daughter and sighed, “A gay thing? Jesus Allie, when have we ever done the gay thing?”

And it was honest.

She considered this and besides Jensen’s penchant for looking meticulously groomed and Jared collection of pink shirts, they were the least gay men on the planet. They were steak eating, car loving, football watching, Texan boys who just happened to be living in sin for the better part of quarter of a century.

She smiled teasingly, “I’m pretty sure you two have sex, and I’m pretty sure that you are both dudes. I’ll check with the panel, but that seems pretty gay,” she said oscillating between anger and hurt and the need to know, “So why, why mom? Why were you with her if you were into someone else?”

“It’s not like that. It’s not that simple. I love her. That never was the issue,” Jared tried to explain.

“Then what is it? What is this thing? What were you doing?”


Jensen’s voice as always was the one of solid maturity.

“Alexandra you will not talk about your parents like that.”

Allie looked at him and tilted her head. She could get mouthy and often said the wrong thing.

“You will read this goddamned letter again and you will read it until you figure it out. This thing between Jared and me took us a long time to figure out and some days we’re still working on it, but that is ours to deal with. We can tell you about us, but you have to understand that it wasn’t always like this. You will not disrespect your mother or your father because of something that happened before you were born.”

She didn’t know where this was coming from. Jensen had been part of her life for every moment she could remember. He had never made her feel less than his.

She stepped closer.

“Da-Jen,” she said, using the childhood nickname that she had used since learning to speak. She reached up and touched his cheek, “You’re my father too. You get lumped into the whole parent bracket. I’ve never questioned that. I’m just curious. You guys made it work and it was really hard at times. And I just want to know how.”

She smiled up at him, and he had never been able to resist either one of them when it came to that smile.

“You two have taught me everything that I’ve ever wanted in love. I see you and it is everything, it is life and balance and it’s you two against the world for each other. How do I do this? How do I make my marriage last thirty years even in the face of everything that comes at me? You two did it. Tell me how I do it.”

Jensen looked at her and opened his arms. She fell into them.

“Its not really normal baby,” he told her.

She looked up at him, “Tell me a story.”

Those words were familiar. She had begged her entire life for another story to delay bedtime and Jensen was sucker for those eyes whether he was looking down at her or up at her father. Jensen looked at Jared and shrugged.

“Once upon a time,” Jared began.

* * * * *

“Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki. Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles,” Eric Kripke introduced.

Jensen sized up the large boyish man in front of him, warily trying to gage what this was going to be like.

Jared looked at Jensen and smiled.

“I’d like to see you read together,” Eric said.

Jensen shrugged and Jared bounded into the room

* * * * *

They were wired. The cameras hadn’t started rolling, but they were going through what Eric called movie star boot camp. They were running lines and practicing moves and it was halfway through the third day when Jared looked at Jensen and smiled that wild infectious smile.

“Dude this is our life,” Jared said with more enthusiasm that a grown man should show, “Wanna get a beer?”

Jensen didn’t fraternize with the series regulars. He had learned that lesson the hard way.

So it was odd when he found his mouth saying yes and found himself laughing half an hour later in a bar with his co-star.

“So let’s get it out there,” Jared said.

Jensen’s guard went up, “What?”

“You’ve checked up on me, I’ve checked up on you. Out with it.”

Jensen answered slowly, “How do you figure?”

“I figure because we are on the WB, the goddamned gossipy high school of the TV world. I’ll go first,” Jared said leaning back, thinking, “I was told that I have to up my acting chops because you take this seriously, you’re dating a playmate, and for some reason Chad Michael Murray seems to harbor strange feelings about you.”

Jensen looked at him incredulously. Nobody was this open in Hollywood.

“Murray?” Jensen asked.

Jared shrugged, “He seems to think that you are impossibly good looking.”

Jensen covered his face with his hands, “Jeeze.”

“So what did you hear about me?” Jared asked.

Jensen looked at the face and wondered if Jared was honestly asking for an answer or if he just wanted an ego stroke.

Jensen had always erred on the side of caution. That was, until he heard the words coming out of his mouth.

“You date your co-stars almost religiously,” Jensen heard his voice say, “You have a tendency to have the enthusiasm of twelve men, and besides being friends with Murray there isn’t anything that anyone has ever said about you that could be considered bad.”

Jared smiled and that was what it took for Jensen to know that this was going to be okay.

“I hear you like to screw your co-stars,” Jared said not maliciously, but just conversationally.

“It’s a bad habit,” Jensen admitted, “I’ve kind of learned not to.”

Jared smiled, “Well I’m taken, so it’s a good thing I’m not your type. Tell me more about the playmate.”

It was just easy, Jensen thought, being with this guy. It was like nothing ever was wrong with anything he said. The beer flowed into empty glasses and almost for the first time since he put himself in front of other people as an image, as an object, he felt remarkably comfortable.

“So Dawson’s Creek’s Jensen Ackles,” Jared said, “Are you thrilled at the prospect that if this gets picked up we’ll be moving to Vancouver. Will you miss all the loveliness of LA?”

“Well Mr. Gilmore,” Jensen drawled, “I’ve spent a year there doing Dark Angel and another doing Smallville, plus I spent some time in North Carolina. LA is kind of a pit stop.”

Jared sighed, “It just seems so far. I don’t know what to do about my girl or my dogs.”

“We haven’t even acted for the camera and you already have us in Vancouver?” Jensen asked incredulously worried about his co-star’s optimism.

Jared leaned forward, “You don’t feel it do you? There is something happening here and it is going to be amazing.”

Jensen had to smile, because something here was something unlike anything else.

* * * * *

“Did you hear?” the words were a freight train of a sugar rush echoing in his ear.

Jensen nodded into his phone. They had gotten picked up.

“We should celebrate,” Jared went on.

Jensen smiled, it was a new thing. Because he had known the guy a few months and he was already having trouble remembering life without Jared Padalecki.

* * * * *

The physical should have started awkwardly. In retrospect though, it seemed natural. It never was a big deal. It was just like breathing, just something that you do.

The first time was to prove a point.

It was a random Sunday night with a late call on Monday. They had gotten back from LA and Tom and Mike had come over for some beers. Mike and Tom had left, but Jensen and Jared were still going at it.

“Mike’s an ass,” Jared announced plopping down with a bottle of tequila. They had long given up on beers...and glasses apparently.

Jensen took the bottle and a swig, “Yep.”

“I mean I know we’re all out of high school,” Jared said reclaiming his bottle, “But just because somebody makes out with somebody that doesn’t lead to sex.”

Jensen squinted at him, “Oh we were talking about that?”

“I mean,” Jared said gesturing wildly, “Sometimes making out is just making out. Sometimes you just want to feel somebody’s lips on yours and it doesn’t matter what goes on. It’s all about touch. It doesn’t have to mean everything if you are just doing something. It’s like hugging. Hugging doesn’t always lead to sex. I mean I hug my grandmother.”

“Dude, that is gross. I don’t want to think about that.”

Jensen watched making sure that Jared sat down with the bottle and didn’t spill the precious tequila. Then, when Jared was securely on the couch, sprawled over two of the three cushions as if he had to take up all the space in the universe, the bottle was safely in Jensen’s hands, and he finally relaxed.

“I know that is kind of gross. Can I have more tequila and I’ll make that sound better.”

Jared grimaced and reached for the bottle. He grabbed blindly as Jensen held it out of the way before Jared fell back defeated.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Jensen muttered but he leaned over and poured tequila in Jared’s mouth. Jared swished it a few times and then swallowed.

He looked at Jensen and then cocked his head. Jensen unconsciously leaned back in his seat. This wasn’t going to be good.

“We should make out.”

Jensen looked at him for a long moment, waiting for the punch line. Jared just looked at him expectantly.

“There are definite reasons why that that is the worst idea in the world,” Jensen said.

“Why? It’s not like you’re attracted to me. Its not like we’re going to make out, the music will swell and we’ll end up in the bedroom promising to have commitment ceremonies in Thailand.”


“Just go with me. Its just kissing, we’re always hugging.”

“You’re always hugging.

“Yes and that makes you the bitch. Just do this. It. Is. Nothing.”

“So making out isn’t cheating.”


“I don’t think Sandy would think of it that way.”

“That is just the point, Sandy does think of it that way. She’s always making out with her girlfriends for free drinks and other stuff. It’s just making out. It’s for fun, not sex. We should do it.”

“Us making out would be for fun?”

“No it would be proving a point.”

“What point?”

“That Mike is an ass.”

Jensen looked over at Jared and Jared looked at him. His trademark grin was absent. This was all too serious.

And for some reason the idea of proving that Mike was an idiot seemed like a really good idea. The reason was completely unreasonable, but Jensen couldn’t think of a good reason to say no.

There were girlfriends, their friendship and a whole goddamned show based on their continued relationship to consider.

But proving that Mike was an idiot seemed like such a good idea.


They sat for a beat.

Jensen took a slug out of the bottle, “How do we do this?”

Jared looked at him through eyes that were little more than slits, “You’ve never kissed somebody before?”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “No tell me the one about kissing again.”

Jared shrugged his shoulders, “Well it’s the thing that usually goes before things like that extra’s mouth on your dick that I walked in last week.

“You need to learn to knock dude,” Jensen pointed out.

“You need to learn to lock your door,” Jared retorted.

Jensen thought about it for a moment, “You need to learn personal space.”

Jared reached out a hand, “I’m not touching you.”

Jensen swatted his hands away, “Are you wussing out?”

Jared sat up and took the challenge, “Okay, you come over here…”

“Why do I have to come over there, I’m so not your bitch.” Jensen pouted.

Jared concentrated very hard, “Well I don’t think I can move.”

“Great now I’m taking advantage of you,” Jensen sighed as if he was being put out.

“It’s my idea,” Jared pointed out.

Jensen looked at him resignedly, shrugged his shoulders and sighed. This was life with Jared Padalecki. It just was. ‘Cause in the drunken moment it all seemed so logical.


Probably not so logical.

But it wasn’t tomorrow yet.

So Jensen leaned in for a kiss, he leaned in and fell on Jared’s nose.

“Dude,” Jared muttered, “That is so not kissing.”

Pulled his head back a few inches from Jared’s face and glared.

“I know what kissing is and we are not kissing we are making out. That is the rules of the making Mike look like an ass,” Jensen pointed out

“Then do it.”


As far as first kisses went it wasn’t in the top ten of the universe. Jensen leaned in and put his mouth on Jared’s. It was a mess of tongue and teeth and lips and tequila breath. And that was on Jared’s chin because he totally didn’t put his mouth on Jared’s.

And Jared was eating his nose.

“Dude you suck,” Jared said around his nose.

“Shut up,” Jensen said into Jared’s lips, “You’re not any better.”

“Oh yeah,” Jared said and pushed his hands through the short hairs at the base of Jensen’s neck. He changed the angle of the kiss, pulling Jensen’s lips through his teeth. When Jensen hissed he took that opportunity to add tongue into the mix.

Jared’s tongue took a few moments to trace over Jensen’s lips. They were soft and warm and seemed to melt into his. Jared bit down on the bottom lip again and Jensen felt a jolt go through him. It was different from just about anything that had ever happened in his life. Jared was enthusiastic and didn’t hold back. Jensen didn’t feel the need to give it anything except his all.

Jared’s tongue was exploring his mouth like it held the answers to life, eliciting little noises in the back of his throat.

Jensen took a moment to respond. He wove his hands through Jared’s hair and deepened the kiss. His tongue was tracing patterns on Jared’s. Then Jared tried to take back control of the kiss, tried to guide Jensen to his pace. Jensen’s inner control freak tried to be dominant.

It was taste and the need to figure out what was making the other person tick.

It was as if they were trying to take up the same space.

Their bodies repositioned to accommodate their manic power struggle.

Jensen had one hand in Jared’s hair and the other was cruelly pulling his jaw towards Jensen’s demanding mouth.

And Jared couldn’t get enough of that mouth.

Jared was squirming underneath Jensen. One hand was on the back of Jensen’s head the other stuck in the couch.

The kiss was their entire world, only mouths and the echo of hands until the shifting of bodies aligned. Their groins moved in tandem and Jensen felt Jared’s erection with his own. He didn’t even know that he was hard until he realized that he was rock solid against Jared’s similarly compromised position.

Jared let out a deep moan and it went straight to Jensen’s toes. Jared threw back his head and broke the kiss.

Jensen looked down at Jared flushed, open, wanting. He tilted his head back and then forwards again. He looked at Jensen and his eyes couldn’t seem to focus.

“Making out requires more than one kiss,” Jared said hoarsely.

Jensen looked at the face before him, which was begging for him and he couldn’t find anything to say, because he wanted Jared’s mouth again. All he could do was lean in and take one more kiss that was freely given.

The reasons why didn’t matter, it was just that he wanted more. It didn’t hurt that his painfully hard dick was pressed against Jared’s; they were rubbing for all it was worth, seeking out the much-needed friction. Feeling arousal and needing more.

His lips and his tongue played over Jared’s as he thrust against him. He didn’t know what was going on and he didn’t care, he didn’t want this to stop.

They kissed and there was friction but it wasn’t enough. Jensen’s hand reached under Jared’s shirt. Jared hit his hand in reprimand.

“Making out doesn’t involve skin,” Jared said primly against his lips, pushing his hands away from his stomach.

Jensen let out a long-suffering sigh and went back to kissing as Jared slowly gyrated against him. Jared didn’t let go of his mouth but began to groan deep in his throat. It was husky and absolutely obscene, it was a sound that Jensen had never heard Jared make and it took him a minute to realize that he was responding in kind. Their moans entwined as they tried to get as close as humanly possible with clothes and all.

Jared bit Jensen’s lips again, and Jensen lost it. He heard himself whimper and it was over. He was coming in his jeans.

And the sound of Jensen loosing it went straight to Jared who was right behind Jensen. His very sensitive dick was suddenly very wet.

Jensen pulled back and looked at Jared. They stared at each other through post-orgasmic alcohol haze. Jared’s eyes were still unable to focus and Jensen couldn’t seem to catch his breath.

They looked at each other and tried to not say that this was probably the sexiest thing that had ever happened with clothes still on.

They looked at each other and Jared realized that Jensen was six foot of solid corded muscle. He was damn heavy.

“Bed,” Jared mumbled trying to stand up, and not having legs that worked. Jensen fell back into the couch, finally remembering how to breathe again.

“Where’s my bed,” Jared said sprawled out on the floor.

Jensen raised a hand and pointed in the general direction of the master bedroom.

“Too far,” Jared said sighed.

“Mmmphf,” Jensen mumbled.

They lay there, falling asleep.

“Sticky,” Jensen said as he rolled over.

“Mike’s definitely an ass,” Jared said. Jensen let out a little laugh and then promptly fell asleep, “We win.”

* * * * *

Jensen was gone by the time that Jared managed to open his eyes. He decided that waking up was not a good idea. His mouth felt like someone had scrubbed it out with dirt and the pressure behind his eyes was definitely trying to kill him.

His body ached from lying on the floor all night and he was fairly sure that serious chafing was going on in his pants.

And he couldn’t feel the tips of his fingers.

Jared looked down at his hand. A piece of paper was secured to his middle finger with a lot of tape.

‘Making out is Sticky.’

Jared laughed and got up for the day.

* * * * *

As Jensen had an earlier call, Jared ended up getting driven alone to the set. By the time Jared made his way to the makeup trailer he was wondering if it would be weird to actually see Jensen.

Jensen sat in the trailer and looked straight ahead. They very carefully didn’t look at each other because they didn’t know how to break the ice. It was a very awkward morning after. It would be fine if they could just find the right words.

“You two look like you were out late,” Karen said looking at the hell on earth their skin was.

“Damn it Jensen,” she swore seeing the faint red crescents of fingernails spotting his neck. Jensen flushed figuring that his neck was screaming ‘I had orgasms last night.’ He was usually really good at making sure that there was no physical evidence of his hookups.

He had just kind of forgot last night.

He wasn’t thinking about the fact that Jared had approached their make out session as if he wanted to absorb Jensen, because that would be thinking about the ‘session’.

Not that he was thinking about that at all which made him remember that nobody had ever kissed him with such enthusiasm, it was as if it had been a chore for everyone else who had ever kissed him before.

So he tried to derail that thought. Jensen tried to think about the fact that he had kissed Jared with some finesse that didn’t leave permanent marks and he was so much better at making out.

Which was not so much not thinking about it, but not thinking about the way Jared felt under him. He was trying because getting a hard on in the makeup trailer was not a good thing.

Jared was staring at the back of his neck licking his lips, when Jensen wasn’t looking. Jared wasn’t thinking that the little red marks were his on Jensen. So it was hard to rationalize why he felt something like pride seeing them blazing from Jensen’s skin. He tried to feel bad about that. Marking your co-star and glad that he would remember you probably wasn’t healthy.

So Jared tried to think of something else and hey the back of Jensen’s neck was covered with freckles, cute little freckles. Jared had never had the urge to lick anyone before, but he couldn’t get the urge to lick those freckles out of his mind. He wanted to taste the freckles. He wanted to see all of the freckles, see if they ended somewhere.

And that wasn’t healthy but his mind seemed to be running full tilt into bad thoughts.

He wanted to see if he could make Jensen make those noises again.

And neither one of them were thinking of those noises.

Because they weren’t thinking about the ‘session.’

“Jeeze Jensen,” Karen said looking closer, “What the hell happened to your lips, they’re torn to hell. Who the hell did you bring home last night?”

It was at just this moment that they decided that eye contact would be the worst idea ever.

Jensen shrugged and tried not to think about Jared’s obsession with his lips. Jared ate candy and was not thinking about biting Jensen’s lips, not at all, not in the slightest.

“Ouch,” Jensen said as Karen rubbed over some of the sensitive scratches.

“How do you even get yourself in these situations on a Tuesday,” Karen clucked.

“Mike is such an ass,” Jensen swore. Jared looked at him and he looked at Jared and everything bubbled over.

The laughing began and they didn’t know how to stop it.

Because it was all too funny.

“How many times have I told you that you need to stay away from Rosenbaum? You’ll always regret it in the morning.” Karen said sarcastically.

Jensen and Jared looked at each other and started laughing hysterically again.

“Mike is such a bad influence,” Jared managed to agree.

Jensen coughed and tried to stop laughing.

* * * * *

It didn’t stop there. They couldn’t stop laughing.

Jared was pretty sure that when his brother was lying on the ground after getting his ass kicked by a ghost that he wasn’t supposed to be laughing and he definitely wasn’t supposed to be entertaining non-brotherly thoughts, grateful for his baggy pants.

But he couldn’t stop laughing or entertaining non-brotherly thoughts.

They were in close proximity and were supposed to have the cameras zooming in on their faces. Every time Jensen opened his eyes Jared remembered last night, every painstaking detail.

Then Jensen would murmur “Sticky” and the two of them would start laughing and not be able to stop.

“Get it together you are worse than a couple of school girls.” Kim muttered as they screwed up take eleven.

And that made them laugh all the more.

* * * * *

"Something weird happened last night," Jensen said into the phone.

Chris sighed, "You screwed Jared."

"What," Jensen said, "No. Why would you say that?"

"Cause you always end up with your co-stars," Chris replied, "And you've only got one co-star. Aren't you dating that weekly player?"

"Hmm, yes," Jensen said latching on to the last question, then he felt the need to clarify, "We didn't have sex."


"No. We made out."

Chris was silent for a moment, "You were drunk and it didn't get any further, or he suddenly realized that he was straight?"

"No," Jensen said quickly, "We just kind of agreed to make out. No touching, some humping, but we just made out for half an hour."

This time Chris was silent longer. Then he began to laugh, that low husky laugh.

"Jenny-Boy you are something else," He said between staccato, "You really made out on the couch, like a junior high girl. Did you come in your pants?"

Jensen was silent, which Chris took as an affirmative, and started laughing again.

"You have gotten into some weird situations, but this is just weird," Chris told him.

"That is the thing it’s not weird. We went to work today and everything is just completely normal."

"So you made out, had orgasms and today you two are like little kids with a secret," Chris guessed.

"Yeah like that," Jensen said, "Its weird isn't it?"

Chris sighed, long and hard, and Jensen had the feeling he wasn't saying everything that he was thinking, "Did you like it?'


"Damn boy, do I have to repeat everything?"

"It was incredibly freaking hot, and that was with my clothes still on."

"Are you going to do it again?


"That sounded sure," Chris said resigned, knowing full well that something was going on, "You do realize that you sure know how to bring the drama and keep it strangely new and interesting, don’t you?"

"I'm great that way."

“You know you can get into some bad trouble again with this one,” Chris warned.

“Hm,” Jensen said, “I haven’t gotten in trouble before.”

Chris snorted, “I remember it getting bad on every show you ever were on more than one episode.”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “It didn’t get bad on Dawson’s.”

“Lame,” Chris told him, “It didn’t get bad because Ancient Rome didn’t have as much sex as the set there. Everybody was screwing everybody.”

Be it good or bad you couldn’t really fault Chris’ observation.

“I don’t think this is going to get bad,” Jensen said weakly.

"Be good, and if you can't do that, be really good." Chris said signing off.

"Always am."

* * * * *

Life went on as it always does. It was weird. It was weird because it wasn’t weird. Jared spent more time in Jensen’s space and Jensen didn’t mind. They always were touching. There was a ridiculous amount of touching.

They didn’t notice.

Jared kept making jokes and grabbing Jensen’s ass.

Jensen rolled his eyes and kept himself within Jared’s reach as much as possible. It was natural. Nobody questioned it. It was the same as the day before, except that it wasn’t.

They bickered and played video games. Jared flirted outrageously and Jensen came out of his shell. Because Jared was there Jensen was fine with every day things, Jensen opened up because you couldn’t not around Jared.

It was natural as breathing. Or making out. Or whatever they were doing.

dear god please give me another chapter
Tags: fic, it is, jared/jensen, rps

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